05-30-2021, 02:15 PM
(05-29-2021, 09:44 PM)TranquillityBase Wrote: It must be hellI see the nice parallel to human aging, but I don't see 'untainted....photon' doing anything for the poem.
to be known to the Universe
as a "living fossil",
then again, maybe not.
I'm happiest when I'm alone
and to be alone on an evolutionary scale
crawling peacefully through the cold mud
at the bottom of an oceanic trench
untainted by religion or science
or seldom even a photon
ugly but undemanding
with my fins
like a parody of limbs
and all my relatives
dead for millions of years....
Why not?
Likewise, the repetition of 'I'm' and 'alone' and the puzzling 'to be' (or not to be...)
I would also end it at 'years'. I don't think the question at the end "adds value".

