05-29-2021, 12:40 AM
Hey Tim-
The problem with lists comes when the items lack descriptors. You have a few, yet need more. Though you are well aware of my fondeness for short form, and editing down, your piece requires the fullness it deserves: I really want to see, hear, and smell those animals.
The shopping list says:
- spinach
- avocadoes
- squash
Examples of what's at the store:
#1:
-lifeless, smashed clumps of stale bagged spinach
-rock hard avocadoes
-limp, wrinkly squash
#2:
-succulent, plump, fresh smelling green spinach
-slightly squishy, ripe avocadoes
-firm, glistening, green and yellow squash
Which would you buy?
I want to buy-in, Tim. Add to your lists, and use pictures you took if you still have em. Go for it, and go BIG,
Mark
The problem with lists comes when the items lack descriptors. You have a few, yet need more. Though you are well aware of my fondeness for short form, and editing down, your piece requires the fullness it deserves: I really want to see, hear, and smell those animals.
The shopping list says:
- spinach
- avocadoes
- squash
Examples of what's at the store:
#1:
-lifeless, smashed clumps of stale bagged spinach
-rock hard avocadoes
-limp, wrinkly squash
#2:
-succulent, plump, fresh smelling green spinach
-slightly squishy, ripe avocadoes
-firm, glistening, green and yellow squash
Which would you buy?
I want to buy-in, Tim. Add to your lists, and use pictures you took if you still have em. Go for it, and go BIG,
Mark