The Strangest Thing - Edit 1.0 (Tranquility)
#2
(05-24-2021, 07:03 AM)busker Wrote:  The strangest thing 

From the bus stop we walk home
down streets as avenues:
giant canopies sheltering us,
timid plant eaters in the Mesozoic,                   I like use of Mesozoic; but should it be "of the Mesozoic"? 
past streets in the suburban afternoon,
blinds drawn,
the hermit crab in its cave.

The jasmine bush, constellated,
holds white stars. Orange stems 
crunch underfoot. In autumn,
the sun looks orange, a Guatemalan marigold,          Mexican marigold (I think it's same plant) has a nicer rhythym
rising or settingit holds no wonder
unless viewed through the eyes of Inoyue
in a sequence of binaries,
and then the truth is deep, too deep to comprehend.

How can we pretend,
find comfort in cakes and tea 
with eternity knocking at our door?

Water rippled
on the lake’s face, cold in the shadow 
of a supernatural wing.
Of all the strange things men do in this world
what is strangest thing,
O Yudishthira?
I like the whole poem, but especially the last stanza.  I was a little puzzled how we got from walking a street to crunching orange stems. 

It's almost like four poems in one.

 I could not figure out the Inoyue reference however.  A couple of suggested changes above.  Second line seems superfluous, since you mention streets again later.  I moved "rising and setting" to next line.

The more I read it, the more I like, always a good sign.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: The Strangest Thing - by TranquillityBase - 05-24-2021, 10:18 AM
RE: The Strangest Thing - by busker - 05-25-2021, 05:44 AM
RE: The Strangest Thing - by Knot - 05-27-2021, 12:35 AM



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