Draft 5: Always Space

[tmanzano]

We could leave for boba tea as they sing   ---- all of this is wonderful to me, I get a burgeoning first love theme to this
on the karaoke, and hear their echoes     ---- From here to the second stanza. 
give in to a choir of croaking frogs, and
a petrichor might accompany us on our walk,
blankly murmuring beneath the street
about a past life that kept us waiting indoors.

We would be carried, in the streetlights,
by our laughter to a plaza
overgrown today with sticker weeds and thistle.  ---- all the way to here. Then I get lost. 

Those stores now loom in vacancy, as one edifice
diffusing a silence that estranged us; yet, ---Is this a former break up from the love lost?
that moment, crystallized in rain and laughter,
remains in that familiar darkness --- So multiple loves lost? 
between two worlds, where there is always space
for all of us. --- I get lost again.




Minor Edit:

Removed lyrics that were supposed to be alluding to a song in the first stanza. Switched out "you" in the final line for "us".

First Draft: Always Space

We will leave for boba tea as they sing
U2's "With or Without You" on karaoke,
their echoes yielding to a choir
of croaking frogs and a petrichor
that will accompany us on our walk,
mindlessly whispering beneath the street
of a past life that kept us waiting indoors.

We'll be carried, in the streetlights,
by our laughter to a plaza
overgrown today with sticker weeds and thistle.

The stores now loom in vacancy, as one edifice
diffusing a silence that estranged us; yet that moment,
crystallized in rain and laughter, will remain
in that familiar darkness between two worlds
as it always has.

I believe I have misread this entire piece. Not on the right ride??

It was all I could think of in my minds eye that they (two new loves, interested in each other) leave a familiar spot and walk into an unknown... sight and sounds, all matter not. I can see them gazing at each other in this walk through the imageary you give that they do not seem to see or hear but walk though blindly. 

Then I find in the last stanza, to me, that this may be love is lost, as many others may (familiar darkness?) have been. Always space? Not sure how this fits in for me... 

Again, this is the way I have read into this. I have not read any of the other comments as I find it my influence my position. 

Other than the misdirect from me , and I will read further and again, this was a very visually palpable read for me. The first two stanza are chock full of "get me out of here" imagery. Well done, and I hope I am close.