05-14-2021, 01:15 AM
TranquillityBase,
Thanks for the input! I agree, wasn't really feeling the song lyrics but I wanted to try it out to see what you guys would say. I appreciated thunderembargo's suggestion tho
As for why "we could" instead of "we will", I wanted the poem to sound more intimate between the n and the reader by having the first line come off as a suggestion rather than an authoritative foretelling of the future (even though the n and their friends going out to grab something to drink and hanging out is what will eventually happen). I think I personally like this beginning better because of that
Thanks for the input! I agree, wasn't really feeling the song lyrics but I wanted to try it out to see what you guys would say. I appreciated thunderembargo's suggestion tho
As for why "we could" instead of "we will", I wanted the poem to sound more intimate between the n and the reader by having the first line come off as a suggestion rather than an authoritative foretelling of the future (even though the n and their friends going out to grab something to drink and hanging out is what will eventually happen). I think I personally like this beginning better because of that