05-08-2021, 12:49 PM
So I think this poem has a lot of The Prophet vibes. I think you are imitating Khalil Gibran a little bit, was that intentional? I think you have a nice style and the imagery in the writing shows but I feel the formatting is a little off, you shouldn't put bulletin points in your poetry and I feel that you should split them into two or three stanzas that way I can read it better. This is not to be harsh but I think it would help tremendously, I also think you use like a litle too much and it starts to feel little preachy in some ways. Like in the end of the poem, I thought it was little cheesy because you say that it is finished, what is finished?