04-29-2021, 06:34 AM
Thunder, I'm enjoying re-reading this in search of a more complete understanding. I like the challenge. A very few notes:
On the Starships before
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss
Was Spun from Carbon Sun
Zero Star Energy that sounds physically impossible and the phrase cancels itself out for me
Echoed the Crystal Cork
of the Moon's Innocence
Opened like Zinfandel
in Micro-Gravity
You could Bubble Upward
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship the Zinfandel reference amid all this kosmic beauty is jarring to me
.....................through the Co-Axial can't help but think of cable tv, is there a synonym to fit your meaning, even a phrase, "Shared Axis"
And that is how they Spun
this Stuff Called "Earth"
an Elemental Sphere
With Luna Crystal
falling through the Heavens
in a Cascading Vortex
of Angels and Death
Judgement, Despair, and
Heaving Breasts
Falling Hard
Towards the EArth
which they had Spun, and Still Spin
From the Fountain of Life
If not for the Tree of Knowledge
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant Seems like we are missing something between these stanzas
The psylocibin is the Programming Drug
which, tearing life from limb,
gives ascent
to the Sphere's Release
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk again, this image doesn't work for me; you don't literally mean milk or do you?
the Moon's Blanket
as not Just Erithu's cover
or it's Tidal Barrier..................
the Mother to the Oceans
Fire Element from it's Crystal
Air from Crystal of Aether
the ground from Inside the Moon
and Wedded
Through the Trans-Axial ditto as to "co-axial" would 'crossed axis ' work
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate
Erithu
This is what it means to sin
against the moon
to grow heavy against her
to weigh against her lucid judgement
to tax her serenity
since she, herself, is who spins
the elements
which you inhabit
drawing them together
and combining them
into mural and poesie
and whispers the very aer* of aether
which you breath
On the Starships before
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss
Was Spun from Carbon Sun
Zero Star Energy that sounds physically impossible and the phrase cancels itself out for me
Echoed the Crystal Cork
of the Moon's Innocence
Opened like Zinfandel
in Micro-Gravity
You could Bubble Upward
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship the Zinfandel reference amid all this kosmic beauty is jarring to me
.....................through the Co-Axial can't help but think of cable tv, is there a synonym to fit your meaning, even a phrase, "Shared Axis"
And that is how they Spun
this Stuff Called "Earth"
an Elemental Sphere
With Luna Crystal
falling through the Heavens
in a Cascading Vortex
of Angels and Death
Judgement, Despair, and
Heaving Breasts
Falling Hard
Towards the EArth
which they had Spun, and Still Spin
From the Fountain of Life
If not for the Tree of Knowledge
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant Seems like we are missing something between these stanzas
The psylocibin is the Programming Drug
which, tearing life from limb,
gives ascent
to the Sphere's Release
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk again, this image doesn't work for me; you don't literally mean milk or do you?
the Moon's Blanket
as not Just Erithu's cover
or it's Tidal Barrier..................
the Mother to the Oceans
Fire Element from it's Crystal
Air from Crystal of Aether
the ground from Inside the Moon
and Wedded
Through the Trans-Axial ditto as to "co-axial" would 'crossed axis ' work
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate
Erithu
This is what it means to sin
against the moon
to grow heavy against her
to weigh against her lucid judgement
to tax her serenity
since she, herself, is who spins
the elements
which you inhabit
drawing them together
and combining them
into mural and poesie
and whispers the very aer* of aether
which you breath