Sapience

[Majestic Sun]

Sapience

Wisdom hides beneath thy sight (Why do you use thy? This is 21st century not the 14th, get rid of thy and use my)
Truth in lies, still truth they pass
She strangles thee in torment's fight (Again, don't use thee, use them instead, since thee means them)

As one becomes thine knowledge plight
A fool declares, thou proof alas!
Still wisdom hides beneath thy sight (Really, I wonder if you too the time to proofread this poem because you were too many archaic words, get rid of them)

Darkness looms in wrong is right
All illusions great and vast
She strangles thee in torment's fight (I like the repetition of torment's fight, very interesting)

Like a blind man's dreams of vision quite
Find no wings in empty mass
For wisdom hides beneath thy sight

Hope long lacking as if now trite,
Betrothed by rage unto thy past
She strangles thee in torment's fight (A period here?)

Till cold souls open in her guiding light
To dance in shadows of innocence cast
She forever hides beneath thy sight
And strangles thee in torment's fight (After reading this it reminds me of William Blake poem, how inviting, but still you have some nice imagery, cold souls is abstract but guiding light works though)

Anyway, this poem is rather intriguing but it still uses some archaic words that need to be replaced with modern words. Anyway thanks for sharing,