Crazy hot

[tmanzano]

Make no changes while torn. Let it sit for a few weeks.

Eight years later and here I am again... Still working through this one. 

Sorry I haven't been back in a while... a LONG while. In this time I have walked away and have been back to this piece. I kept picking at this one like a scab. 

 Todd, you had suggested a foundational stanza (2) line break and it burned into my mind. I liked the implications and seemed to have restructured my entire piece here from it. I want to share what I have reworked and see if it drifts too far off the original and loses anything, however I think it is better organized this way. It flows better in my minds eye.

Let me know what you think. Thanks again. 



The man down the hall

watches me leave every morning.

I catch him staring at me.

 

I smile and wave, he throws rocks

through his own windows;

I would like to avoid him today.

 

I do like it when he grows      --- Here being the line break you suggested. 

flowers in spring - seems to

smile more those days.

 

His pill boxes overflow in Zinnia,

reminds me of a wedding.

 

In winter we shovel salt.

He is subdued by the heavy air.

 

Thick mustaches and beards

make for small talk - chit chat.

 

This summer has been crazy hot,

filled with people scampering about

like ants under glass - like

 

the hum of Cicada in the trees;

voices in manic phase.

 

Those evenings he paces in circles,

screaming at me with his ice black eyes,

electrically peering through me,

in me, from me.

 

I slap my face with water,

bite my arms, and pull glass from my forehead

because it's summer in my bathroom mirror.

 

I don't think I can take

the medication tonight;
I'm trying not to stare at him.