04-10-2021, 09:10 PM
hi Savannah,
I have a thing about the rain, so I was pedisposed to like this poem. I like the way the lines flow, and most of the imagery is very effective. I had the most problems with stanza 2. Like CRNDLSM, the Christmas image seems out of place. How about just "weather/angel"? Also, wouldn't the pool be disturbed by these bullets of rain, not content as a child, unless its under some eaves or something.
Again with CRNDLSM, the title leads you to expect a tropical setting. I know lots of people outside the tropics use "monsoon" for their rainy season, but maybe title should be more geographically defined, like "Texas monsoon" (no idea where you are at).
Finally, last line is somewhat cliche. "hint of new Spring"? is this March or April rain?
Thanks for the rain poem!
I have a thing about the rain, so I was pedisposed to like this poem. I like the way the lines flow, and most of the imagery is very effective. I had the most problems with stanza 2. Like CRNDLSM, the Christmas image seems out of place. How about just "weather/angel"? Also, wouldn't the pool be disturbed by these bullets of rain, not content as a child, unless its under some eaves or something.
Again with CRNDLSM, the title leads you to expect a tropical setting. I know lots of people outside the tropics use "monsoon" for their rainy season, but maybe title should be more geographically defined, like "Texas monsoon" (no idea where you are at).
Finally, last line is somewhat cliche. "hint of new Spring"? is this March or April rain?
Thanks for the rain poem!