Grief to Lust

[busker]

Thanks for your comments.  I've tried to stick with the original idea for the poem and continue it, and dropped the second/third stanzas completely.  this still has problems i know, but I think it's more consistent anyway.




From grief to lust, a flea’s hop,
and a plague is planted,
the dead are forgotten, merely bodies
yet a man in rut is only a body 
in search of its opposite.
The mourner yearns for infection
to fill the sucking void
and nerves are quick to surrender
to a promise of no return,
but gargoyle grief perches on that promise, 
his serpent smile knows 
no flea can make the circus leap
over his resurrection. 

I think the original reads better, but that happens all the time 
You probably need to revisit this after some time