03-19-2021, 08:31 AM
Thanks for your comments. I've tried to stick with the original idea for the poem and continue it, and dropped the second/third stanzas completely. this still has problems i know, but I think it's more consistent anyway.
From grief to lust, a flea’s hop,
and a plague is planted,
the dead are forgotten, merely bodies
yet a man in rut is only a body
in search of its opposite.
The mourner yearns for infection
to fill the sucking void
and nerves are quick to surrender
to a promise of no return,
but gargoyle grief perches on that promise,
his serpent smile knows
no flea can make the circus leap
over his resurrection.
From grief to lust, a flea’s hop,
and a plague is planted,
the dead are forgotten, merely bodies
yet a man in rut is only a body
in search of its opposite.
The mourner yearns for infection
to fill the sucking void
and nerves are quick to surrender
to a promise of no return,
but gargoyle grief perches on that promise,
his serpent smile knows
no flea can make the circus leap
over his resurrection.