03-14-2021, 12:27 AM
Hi Alexorande, I'll add my praise to others. I enjoyed the beginning in "Because" as it's an invitation for a discovery, to understand a new piece of logic, and I didn't feel like I was missing the question raised in the previous poem (which I haven't read). As arbil_poeio perhaps also thought, the "as if it was real enough" is absolutely essential, that's where you break the physical dimension. I didn't even need to try and understand that sentence to be flow away (as if I was a fly) into nostalgia. And the "it" could be the house, or the fly, or the dusty glass--mystery.
One thing I wasn't sure of: the reference to a screen, as I'm not used to seeing screens on windows. Perhaps it's common where you live. It slightly stopped the flow of the poem for me. And can't you raise the screen, or lower it, instead of tearing it? I know you need to have some kind of action. Perhaps you just need to scare the fly away.
One thing I wasn't sure of: the reference to a screen, as I'm not used to seeing screens on windows. Perhaps it's common where you live. It slightly stopped the flow of the poem for me. And can't you raise the screen, or lower it, instead of tearing it? I know you need to have some kind of action. Perhaps you just need to scare the fly away.