Calling the Samaritans

[TranquillityBase]

I'm very intrigued by your poem.  It's ambitious and very (maybe too much so) fluid.  I skimmed a bit of your explanantion, enough to read it again and come up with some suggestions.  But honestly I did not read your explanation closely because I want to just experience the poem.

First off, I was unclear of even the speaker's gender and really was misled by the use of Sib.  Your explanantion makes it clearer, but maybe needs to be in the poem for the reader too, in some way.

Hei really needs to be capitalized to make clear it's a name.

I don't understand why you refer to the 3rd section as "the garbage".  It's true, it doesn't belong, but it could stand alone as another poem I think.

I like the jagged line structure and the challenge they present in reading the poem. 

Some lines I simply did not understand:

l. 2 "every each of the double holding tones a judgment". (by the way, i really like the line)

ll. 14-15. "who are
               held together on one back"

and just before the end of section 2;
"Who
        The
               FUCK did they think they were talking to?
To you? A god? A goddess? A king?'

I'm unclear who this is referring to both as to speaker and object of speaker)

Really I enjoyed all my readings even with the puzzles.