02-11-2021, 02:04 AM
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Hi TqB,
I got that it was a description of the pit just couldn't figure out why it was there. Now all that remains is a hole, literal and metaphorical? What does it have to do with the pole? (And when did John clean out the pit? Not to mention, if he did clean it out, why did he leave a 'wheelbarrow's worth of charcoal'?)
Incidentally, 'miniature village of black hills' was a bit of a head scratcher - when did village become a collective noun for hills? And the plural suggests more than one pit.
Still really confused by whatever process is being employed to make charcoal. And the size of the pit implies that, whatever it was, it would take days to complete. Did it?
You put a lot of emphasis on the pit, when, really, it seems to be the pole that's important.
What would be lost if you cut everything but the last couple of lines of stanza two?
What does N do with the pole, use it a a walking stick, lean on it looking out at the sunset, what?
I like how lightly you use 'Ethan Brand'.
Best, Knot
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