Pathos

[CRNDLSM]

Not the title, but suggestions invited.

This is my working title, because of the context in which I want the piece be understood:

I WISH I COULD SAY HOW IT IS

I'd like to get a better understanding of the freer forms of verse and its varieties: been working on this for a while. I've given some thought to natural speech rhythms and cadence, and line breaks for emphasis. Input welcome.


No consolation, but
you're not the only ones to grieve -
Death is my living.
Through you.
I chop skulls and dip into brains
like you dip soldiers into an egg.

No morbid fascination, just desire
to understand and help.

Immersion in your grief makes me
grieve -
as you do

Despite what you imagine I'm not inured.
Black humour helps. No false sympathy,
only empathy in grief.

I understand. I really do.

I know their very essence,
and hearts and lungs
and brains and organs
as I know myself.

I know your grief
I share your grief

I understand more than you can possibly know -
I watched a colleague
do my son.

Cheers.

I'm picturing a mortician?  Only because I had to sit on the last lines for a minute. 'do my son' didn't make sense otherwise, I first pictured a teacher who walked in on a colleague boinking their kid then thought about the skull cutting and pictured 'do my son' as murder, but the colleague and the grief made me think mortician , like you couldn't do the work on your own kid because of grief.  I don't understand the soldier egg reference.  I feel like the 'you' character isn't actually anyone and can be left out.    The title works for me in the context I concluded, maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, I'm sure you wish you could say.  Thanks for posting.