12-25-2020, 05:21 PM
Hello!
The imagery of pressing himself into her palm and lingering on the edge of a dream are very powerful to me. They establish mood very well. I quite enjoy this poem's mood, and you've done a good job of utilizing flora to expand the audience's understanding of the underlying message. However, I can't shake that last line. It's left me quite unsure. On the one hand, it finishes the poem. There's so much emphasis on it, and the line itself, simple as it may be, is powerful. However, in the context of this particular work, it seems unnecessary. The piece leaves me wanting to know more, and I mean that as a compliment. The poem seems to be simply touching on an idea, leaving me to fill in the blanks myself. This lack of specificity works in tandem with the strong imagery you've used to create an engaging and imaginative experience for the reader.
Thanks, Holly
The imagery of pressing himself into her palm and lingering on the edge of a dream are very powerful to me. They establish mood very well. I quite enjoy this poem's mood, and you've done a good job of utilizing flora to expand the audience's understanding of the underlying message. However, I can't shake that last line. It's left me quite unsure. On the one hand, it finishes the poem. There's so much emphasis on it, and the line itself, simple as it may be, is powerful. However, in the context of this particular work, it seems unnecessary. The piece leaves me wanting to know more, and I mean that as a compliment. The poem seems to be simply touching on an idea, leaving me to fill in the blanks myself. This lack of specificity works in tandem with the strong imagery you've used to create an engaging and imaginative experience for the reader.
Thanks, Holly