The Vow

[Knot]

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Hi Penned,

engaging piece, let down, I think, by the first and last lines. Do you really need either?

The repetition of both 'summer' and 'night' (in such a short poem) is another weakness, for me.

There are some very nice rhythms (bloom / and blowing into / Autumn) which, perhaps,

might be continued?

Lines 7-11 just read like a list, and consequently feel rather flat and unmusical.

Best, Knot

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