11-14-2020, 04:07 AM
[quote="alexorande" pid='250152' dateline='1597177228']
Patriotic embers of the stolen land
of milk and honey fade
before they touch the earth
like flecks of daybreak gold
becoming dust
in the crowded shade.
And the buildings, empty as a dead star
and the swine in suits,
feed our shadows to a rot of daisies
that burgeoned through concrete.
It will never be the fire, but either fate
or all its followers, who dance on shores
where viscous black waves break closer
beneath a sanguine sky, that brings
all dogs to scavenge.
When night lingers, the song of mourning
doves await the air
in a burst of glass and fuel.
You have exceptional ability as a poet. Changing images abruptly without breaking the continuous mood and symbol which drive the piece's themes. Including "all dogs" in the savagery, the sustenance only helps to build moral restraint and warning into the successfully developing series of contrasting structures................ or deconstructively contrasting structures which end up on the "ash heap of history." A lasting poem, a testament to a day of judgment. Something that could have been issued on Nov. 5th just as well as Guy Fawkes or Paul Revere, bending metal out of the censors (who had belonged to the sacrilegeous in the Book of Exodus) in the camp of Moses.
Patriotic embers of the stolen land
of milk and honey fade
before they touch the earth
like flecks of daybreak gold
becoming dust
in the crowded shade.
And the buildings, empty as a dead star
and the swine in suits,
feed our shadows to a rot of daisies
that burgeoned through concrete.
It will never be the fire, but either fate
or all its followers, who dance on shores
where viscous black waves break closer
beneath a sanguine sky, that brings
all dogs to scavenge.
When night lingers, the song of mourning
doves await the air
in a burst of glass and fuel.
You have exceptional ability as a poet. Changing images abruptly without breaking the continuous mood and symbol which drive the piece's themes. Including "all dogs" in the savagery, the sustenance only helps to build moral restraint and warning into the successfully developing series of contrasting structures................ or deconstructively contrasting structures which end up on the "ash heap of history." A lasting poem, a testament to a day of judgment. Something that could have been issued on Nov. 5th just as well as Guy Fawkes or Paul Revere, bending metal out of the censors (who had belonged to the sacrilegeous in the Book of Exodus) in the camp of Moses.
plutocratic polyphonous pandering