11-03-2020, 11:56 PM
Baby_Hand_Feilds,
One of the problems with using archaic language is, well...it's archaic, and most people do not know how to use it grammatically and of course bumble the grammar. But, then one has to ask why do it anyway? The people who wrote like this did it because that is the way they spoke, not because they thought it made the poem seem poetic. To use it today is just affectation, however it still matter of taste and there certainly plenty of bad taste in the world
Anyway, it appears someone has been sniffing the English Romantics again, or maybe even a sip of Donne. The rhyme pattern (abab) screams for iambic tetrameter(one generally expects to find metered lines with a strict rhyme, ie., formal poetry, I'll not go into why, that is a sermon for another day). I'll use your first line to illustrate (please forgive)
'My love, so warm, so soft, inviting,'
you are the haven for my rest,
your love for me is so inspiring,
you are the crown upon my Crest.
Do you see how this gives it form as the meter compliments the thyme?
To me this seems what you may be aiming for, but without a good understanding of meter. I won't go into the demarcation between formal poetry and informal verse but here is a good reason for the separation.Just know that a static rhyme pattern needs a metered line, so it's something you might want to try.
best,
dale
One of the problems with using archaic language is, well...it's archaic, and most people do not know how to use it grammatically and of course bumble the grammar. But, then one has to ask why do it anyway? The people who wrote like this did it because that is the way they spoke, not because they thought it made the poem seem poetic. To use it today is just affectation, however it still matter of taste and there certainly plenty of bad taste in the world
Anyway, it appears someone has been sniffing the English Romantics again, or maybe even a sip of Donne. The rhyme pattern (abab) screams for iambic tetrameter(one generally expects to find metered lines with a strict rhyme, ie., formal poetry, I'll not go into why, that is a sermon for another day). I'll use your first line to illustrate (please forgive)
'My love, so warm, so soft, inviting,'
you are the haven for my rest,
your love for me is so inspiring,
you are the crown upon my Crest.
Do you see how this gives it form as the meter compliments the thyme?
To me this seems what you may be aiming for, but without a good understanding of meter. I won't go into the demarcation between formal poetry and informal verse but here is a good reason for the separation.Just know that a static rhyme pattern needs a metered line, so it's something you might want to try.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.