Forest Pond - edit

[dukealien]

Hi Duke,

I really like this concept. A couple of nits though, aren't all egrets white, is 'white' redundant?
Also I feel like the last line would work better as 'plucking carp from branches', I know it messes with the syllable count.

When I read it first I was reminded of an Escher painting called Three Worlds
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/95/a8/2b/...45b9d2.jpg

Thanks for the read,

Mark

Thanks, know that Escher well... this would be a more distant, horizontal view.

Your two suggestions balance (since beats-per-line is negotiable in English) to give

Egret shimmers
over mirrored clouds and leaves–
plucking carp from branches.

But not everyone knows that a non-white egret is a heron (but that also means I can't fill the line with "white heron" since I do). I'll work on it.