Pradeshi Police

[Knot]

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Hi Radetof,
not sure it's been worth the wait but you have improved it,
though I'm not convinced 'sublimed' is the right word (the
meaning works though).
Does the 'auto' have a different name? It's just that in a couple
of places you have 'autowallah' and then 'auto' in rather close
proximity and it feels repetitive.

I wondered about switching it to the present tense, as in


The daroga
drools in anger
rails at the autowallah,
mammoth blows
land on the poor man's back
... [some description of the sound?] ...
that lathi has seen much practice
"How dare you talk back?
You motherfucker!"

I do nothing
but watch, follow them
to the police station.

The daroga
... [where's the action here?] ...
"Fuck you, you fancy dandy!
Getting off to get fucking food packed.
Piece of shit"

Inside I can barely open my mouth
can't bring myself to
say his name. I couldn't
take a beating.
The inspector blinks
like a lizard, tells me to
"fuck off! What are you
complaining about?"

The daroga
claims the auto is stolen.
"No! Sir! No! It's a friend's sir,
let me just call him. He has all the papers- "
the autowallah begs the station officer........................who is the station officer, is he the inspector?
even as slow, meaty blows land
on his face
"I'll strip the hide off your back!"...............................who's saying this, the daroga or the station officer?
.............................................................................and who is hitting the autowallah?

I step out to compose myself
purge the savage drunken sneer
from my stomach,
...



Don't think the last line works, I don't believe N
wouldn't understand the autowallah's reaction.


Best, Knot




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