In Defense of Narcissus

[Richard]

Hey therabbitisme,
Since this is intensive, I will go into a little more detail than I usually do:

Who sees himself reflected -There's three beats in this line, and in the rest of the lines as well. When rhyming, short lines like this usually go with a comedic tone. If you're committed to keeping this poem a rhymer, I would suggest reworking it so at least the beats go 4 in one line and then 3 in the next, and repeat that beat pattern throughout.
And makes a loving sigh, -Don't need to capitalize at the start of each line. Most modern poetry has moved away from this.
Whose crown is self-elected -I like the play on the words here with crown and self-elected. This is the strongest line in the poem.
Whose favorite word is "I" -In such a short poem, repeating a word like "Whose" isn't necessary. Other than trying to sound poetic, it doesn't add much. I would suggest using a different word.

He reflects in man -Again, don't need to repeat "reflect" here. Wasn't Narcissus a man, so of course he would reflect in man. It might even be interesting if you played around with how he reflects in men and women. Just a thought.
As man reflects in God -Narcissus is a part of Greek mythology, if memory serves, so shouldn't it be "Gods", not "God"?
As clay within His hand -Again, clay is part of the Christian creation story, but Narcissus is part of Greek mythology. Maybe it's just my own opinion, but I think it would work better if you only drew on elements of the Greek Mythology creation story.
A self-reflective wad -I get what you're doing with "self-reflective" here, but it would have more impact if this was the first time the reader saw "reflect" in the poem.

As Plato is alone -Was Plato a bit Narcissistic? There is a lot of potential here that you should explore more.
In his Platonic form -Maybe give an image to illustrate the Platonic form? That would give this line some substance.
So Narcissus' home -Where is Narcissus' home? Again, you could go into more detail.
Is, by himself, kept warm -It would be more startling if he was actually cold, but doesn't care. This would reflect the emptiness of Narcissism.

As he reflects,-Need a different word than "reflect". That word is in this poem too many times for such a short poem.
He sees himself -Maybe think about playing around with his distorted reflection as an image. This ending could play around with Narcissus' own delusion.

I would be curious to see you rewrite this without the rhymes and just exploring some of the imagery more. There is something here worth working at, so I hope you take the time to edit this piece.

Cheers,
Richard