08-07-2020, 03:54 AM
I love the immediate juxtaposition of “dark, pale” as well as lines 13-16. I think it would be nice if you could incorporate perhaps just one instance of animal symbolism in the second stanza. And maybe because you write “...more feeling than thought” in line 5, you could mirror that by replacing “think” with “feel” in line 7. Really beautiful overall.