08-04-2020, 12:58 AM
Mantis: A Fable (edit 2)
The harshest discipline will never alter
the fundamental nature of an evil person.
Consider how the mantis was once a mortal
man, hypocritical prophet and fortune teller.
How he was not fulfilled with courtship,
but consistently cast his covetous eyes on everyone
then begs for forgiveness when he feels remorse.
His victims prayed to the god Jupiter who became so enraged
the god remade him--a divine metamorphosis which changed him
into the bug we know today, the praying mantis.
And yet, despite that divine condemnation
knowingly to suffer decapitation during copulation,
still the mantis has not changed his ways
I won't submit this anywhere since you rewrote so much of it. I like it much better now. I learned a lot. I wanted to keep the end and not have the character change as I wanted to make the philosophical point that our demons never really go away and it is human nature (at least mine) to give in to certain vices even though we know they are bad for us and even though there are consequences we are going to suffer (but we give in to the temptations anyway).
The harshest discipline will never alter
the fundamental nature of an evil person.
Consider how the mantis was once a mortal
man, hypocritical prophet and fortune teller.
How he was not fulfilled with courtship,
but consistently cast his covetous eyes on everyone
then begs for forgiveness when he feels remorse.
His victims prayed to the god Jupiter who became so enraged
the god remade him--a divine metamorphosis which changed him
into the bug we know today, the praying mantis.
And yet, despite that divine condemnation
knowingly to suffer decapitation during copulation,
still the mantis has not changed his ways
I won't submit this anywhere since you rewrote so much of it. I like it much better now. I learned a lot. I wanted to keep the end and not have the character change as I wanted to make the philosophical point that our demons never really go away and it is human nature (at least mine) to give in to certain vices even though we know they are bad for us and even though there are consequences we are going to suffer (but we give in to the temptations anyway).