08-02-2020, 08:17 AM
The line about dying before he died could and probably should be cut. It’s reference to something that completely ancillary to the focus of the essay. (If you want to know: my grandfather had a series of strokes as he got older and it was definitely a case of the person kind of walking out before the body went. But it’s anecdotal and esoteric and extraneous.)
I’m finding it interesting that I’ve gotten two off hits on the “fruit.” That IS important so I’m going to consider revising it for clarity. Thank you for the feedback.
I’m finding it interesting that I’ve gotten two off hits on the “fruit.” That IS important so I’m going to consider revising it for clarity. Thank you for the feedback.
(08-02-2020, 08:06 AM)busker Wrote: I too am grateful for 9/11. But for it, America’s attention would never have turned to radical Islam and the Mozlums woulda been overrunning countries in their neighbourhood. I might have died in the process. It’s unfortunate that Mohammed Atta is not remembered as fondly as Paul Tíbbets.
Turning to the text, it’s not quite clear to me why he died before he died, or who the fruits were owed to. The dead in Nagasaki? Unlikely. His fellow soldiers? The scientists at the Manhattan project?
I did like “alms into the deep wells of charity”.