Before the rain

[Caravano]

Before the rain



She pegs linen late into the lazy days

the air hanging low, heavy. I would consider a different word choice, it seems like something I have heard too many times. 

The petunias shiver

three-year-old palms to the glass,

Phoebe spreads her fingers in paint 

trialing permanence.



Inside her something moves,

thunder claps and the sky is 

late night television.

Collecting warm-damp laundry,

She spreads it over the backs 

of her old wooden chairs. 



Cumulonimbus exhales and the room I feel like there could be a much better word here. 

is illuminated 

for just a moment

the purple paisley shirt and blue chinos That's a mouthful in a bad way, maybe "red"?



cast an apparitions on the wall.

Phoebe counts to three. 

They wait for the rain.



Later the patio radiates

heat that and smells of earth

and memories of

yesterday,

before the rain, before the air 

was so close that

they needed to start over. 


Not digging the ending, you've got some good imagery, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. 
before the rain, before the air 
was so close that
they needed to start over. 


Maybe your poking at a relationship going awry, if so, it needs to be fleshed out.