Division
#17
(07-17-2020, 08:52 PM)Valerie Please Wrote:  Division 
Division doesn’t care 
About the whole.
Division cares about
The incision 
The estrangement 
The divorce
Even if there were
Something left not
Burning
Imploded
Ruined....
Division can’t see it.
As far as Division is concerned
It’s the act of undoing 
that is doing.
Division is the grey man
methodically measuring
the degrees of separation.
An eye for an eye and all that.
This poem isn't really my cup of tea. A bit too abstract, for me. All concept and no concrete image. 
As this is in "for fun" could you express the same sentiment using a rabbit befriending a magpie? Or you Waiting in line at Wendy's? Because it's an idea that comes too raw, without context, without texture. There is a place for that kind of thing, of course, but this reads like pissing in the snow and playing with the steam. But it's all steam and no pissing.
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Messages In This Thread
Division - by Valerie Please - 07-17-2020, 08:52 PM
RE: Division - by rowens - 07-18-2020, 02:53 AM
RE: Division - by Valerie Please - 07-18-2020, 03:32 AM
RE: Division - by rowens - 07-18-2020, 03:36 AM
RE: Division - by Valerie Please - 07-18-2020, 11:06 PM
RE: Division - by Tiger the Lion - 07-20-2020, 04:56 AM
RE: Division - by Tiger the Lion - 07-18-2020, 01:33 PM
RE: Division - by rowens - 07-19-2020, 12:31 PM
RE: Division - by Valerie Please - 07-19-2020, 05:12 PM
RE: Division - by rowens - 07-19-2020, 01:04 PM
RE: Division - by rowens - 07-19-2020, 10:41 PM
RE: Division - by busker - 07-20-2020, 05:31 AM
RE: Division - by Todd - 07-21-2020, 01:06 AM
RE: Division - by Valerie Please - 07-21-2020, 09:24 AM
RE: Division - by Exit - 07-21-2020, 02:15 PM



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