07-20-2020, 03:44 AM
Hi Abigail,
I have to agree with Knot on this one. I like
I have nursed infant animals, and healed sick plants.
As a child I was a benevolent god, I rescued bugs from rainstorms,
I combed the flooded grass for ailing bodies and dragged them to safety.
I don’t do this anymore.
Some things are too small to stop for.
You could perhaps start with this and then continue in a similar vein.
I quite like the repetition of the last line “some things are too small to stop for” and you could go with this as you carry on into the poem.
You can ask the big questions you are asking in this poem through small descriptions. It is much better to “show rather than tell”. The age-old rule of poetry.
I can see plenty of potential though ☺️ You definitely have a poetic voice
I have to agree with Knot on this one. I like
I have nursed infant animals, and healed sick plants.
As a child I was a benevolent god, I rescued bugs from rainstorms,
I combed the flooded grass for ailing bodies and dragged them to safety.
I don’t do this anymore.
Some things are too small to stop for.
You could perhaps start with this and then continue in a similar vein.
I quite like the repetition of the last line “some things are too small to stop for” and you could go with this as you carry on into the poem.
You can ask the big questions you are asking in this poem through small descriptions. It is much better to “show rather than tell”. The age-old rule of poetry.
I can see plenty of potential though ☺️ You definitely have a poetic voice