The Least of These - Edit3

[dukealien]

The Least of These

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Hello,

Reading your various edits I think the most recent is good. However, I have I vastly prefer your original ending. The rhetorical question followed by “perhaps I should have tried” implies a reluctance in the author which I find quite thought provoking, and perhaps which we can all relate to in certain circumstances. I’m not sold on the idea of failing a test. What test would involve you saving a cockroach? It’s a bit odd to me, and I actually liked the rhyme at end. Personal opinion though.

Having moved away from rhyme and explaining (in the final line), I'm reluctant to move back that way again.  Your suggestions are, however, appreciated:  perhaps an end rhyme in those last two lines, to match the one in the middle?  The wording will have to be just right to avoid letting unease turn into a provided answer.

Thanks!