The Least of These - Edit3

[penneddown]

[quote="dukealien" pid='249113' dateline='1590353984']
The Least of These


Last night I watched an accidental roach
run frantic patterns in a plastic trash
receptacle with sides too slick to climb.
I thought of two or three things I could do:
spray down some poison, crush it with a shoe,
or tip the bin outside and let it limp
away on moonless moss.  Instead I took
no action; in the morning it was dead.
But now I feel somehow I’ve failed a test.

edit2;

Last night I watched an ordinary roach
run frantic circuits in a plastic trash
receptacle with sides too slick for it
to climb.  I thought of things that I might do:
spray down some poison, crush it with a shoe,
or tip the bin outside and let it crawl
away on moonless moss.  Instead I took
no action; in the morning it was dead.
But now I feel somehow I’ve failed a test.


edit 1;

Last night I watched a cockroach vainly dash
through frantic circuits in a plastic trash
receptacle with sides too slick and new
to climb.  I thought of things that I could do:
spray in some poison, crush it with a shoe,
or tip the bin outside and let it book
for home on moonless grass.  Instead I took
no action; by this morning it had died.
Could I have helped?  Perhaps I should have tried.

original version;

Last night I watched a solitary roach
run frantic circuits in a plastic trash
receptacle with sides too slick for it
to climb.  I thought of things that I could do:
spray in some poison, crush it with a shoe,
or tip the bin outside and let it crawl
away on moonless grass.  Instead I took
no action; in the morning it was dead.
But now I feel I’ve somehow failed a test.

[/quote

Hello,

Reading your various edits I think the most recent is good. However, I have I vastly prefer your original ending. The rhetorical question followed by “perhaps I should have tried” implies a reluctance in the author which I find quite thought provoking, and perhaps which we can all relate to in certain circumstances. I’m not sold on the idea of failing a test. What test would involve you saving a cockroach? It’s a bit odd to me, and I actually liked the rhyme at end. Personal opinion though.