06-09-2020, 03:56 PM
This is miss ell anus so I can say what I want.
First off, squeak works as an image and a bloody good one. Normally I don,t care for unpunctuated poetry unless it works well, this does. The line breaks are nigh on perfect for it. The poem reminds me of a certain song which I can,t Remember apart from the first line (you are on a beach) . All Jackson pollack like. Anyway, I don,t think you need to mess with it.
First off, squeak works as an image and a bloody good one. Normally I don,t care for unpunctuated poetry unless it works well, this does. The line breaks are nigh on perfect for it. The poem reminds me of a certain song which I can,t Remember apart from the first line (you are on a beach) . All Jackson pollack like. Anyway, I don,t think you need to mess with it.