06-09-2020, 02:14 PM
@ Jagged, I'm not sure if you felt the lines were cliche or the images themselves were cliche. Also unsure of the punctuation issues, seeing as I haven't used any. I'm so glad you enjoyed the shower scene. I might reconsider the word "squeak"- there are other options that might serve my purpose better. Thanks for reading.
@Todd, I know what you mean with the construction of "this is". I mean, if you add a refrain you're moving toward song lyrics. Having said that, I never approach free verse with a template of any kind, but the results often give that appearance. Thanks for the kind words. I'm off to check out Stephen Dobyns now
@Todd, I know what you mean with the construction of "this is". I mean, if you add a refrain you're moving toward song lyrics. Having said that, I never approach free verse with a template of any kind, but the results often give that appearance. Thanks for the kind words. I'm off to check out Stephen Dobyns now