06-01-2020, 05:16 AM
Very interesting use of sound and other sensory experiences because it makes the poem seem like a little microbiome of human experience. Interesting link between youth and the ability to experience sounds, light, warmth as a given? 'Warm and stagnant' suggests maybe the opposite. Second stanza is strong but i would agree with 'busker' that a few of the adjectives in the third should be revised.