04-21-2020, 05:44 AM
Hey GMan-
The mix of images may work inside your own head, but they aren't piecing together inside of mine. This one is a bit too abstract for me to form a reaction to.
The fact that there are about 5M pores in a human body is a "stand alone" fact that needs to be tied in better. There are about 90 billion neurons in my little brain, but that fact may only be interesting if I relate it to something else. Facts, here, require context.
I can't tell if a tree is a metaphor for your body, or the other way around.
Also, the ground is solid, then dusty... and that's confusing.
The red and purple tornadoes speak of some general pain that you may feel, but I can't feel it without more to grab on to.
Less is usually more, but please open the door a bit wider, otherwise I feel left out.
Thanks,
... Mark
The mix of images may work inside your own head, but they aren't piecing together inside of mine. This one is a bit too abstract for me to form a reaction to.
The fact that there are about 5M pores in a human body is a "stand alone" fact that needs to be tied in better. There are about 90 billion neurons in my little brain, but that fact may only be interesting if I relate it to something else. Facts, here, require context.
I can't tell if a tree is a metaphor for your body, or the other way around.
Also, the ground is solid, then dusty... and that's confusing.
The red and purple tornadoes speak of some general pain that you may feel, but I can't feel it without more to grab on to.
Less is usually more, but please open the door a bit wider, otherwise I feel left out.
Thanks,
... Mark