04-10-2020, 02:32 AM
Lots of rhyme. I do like rhyming poems but I guess too much rhyme is no good. I am a very rookie poet myself and at first, I thought poems has to rhyme or a good poems always rhyme. So here's my opinion ( with very limited knowledge) in this subject matter..
"We ran after we started slow" - I thought this was interesting, like I said, I am new to writing poems. With that said, what would be the ramification of writing this as.. "we started slow and ran after"
The paragraph before "Leaving you like this every week" seems like they were together with dogs and kids and farm.. etc then it jumped to someone leaving every week and "Dropping you home every evening" ... so they're together and not together. It's a bit confusing to me.
This poem is obviously about two people so in love, they're inseparable, with a burning passion they couldn’t deny. Then last two paragraphs they're holding back.
"We have something precious,
Let’s not squeeze too tight.
Our time will come,
And then it will be all right."
Why? why are we going back and forth with this?
"To realize that life is short."
So what is it? are we holding back on this love? or life is too short?
"We ran after we started slow" - I thought this was interesting, like I said, I am new to writing poems. With that said, what would be the ramification of writing this as.. "we started slow and ran after"
The paragraph before "Leaving you like this every week" seems like they were together with dogs and kids and farm.. etc then it jumped to someone leaving every week and "Dropping you home every evening" ... so they're together and not together. It's a bit confusing to me.
This poem is obviously about two people so in love, they're inseparable, with a burning passion they couldn’t deny. Then last two paragraphs they're holding back.
"We have something precious,
Let’s not squeeze too tight.
Our time will come,
And then it will be all right."
Why? why are we going back and forth with this?
"To realize that life is short."
So what is it? are we holding back on this love? or life is too short?