02-28-2020, 08:14 AM
mjweise,
Welcome to the site.
I think it would tighten things up if you dropped the "What" at the beginning.
" if I become a Poet"
This makes the line iambic trimeter (with a dangling foot) which is less awkward than to start with two unaccented syllables. Although you generally stick to three accents per line, there are times when this is not the case and that causes the line to hiccup. If it were all regularized it would read (the 1st stanza):
If I become a Poet
and ply some wordy skills
that there could be a worry
it might not pay the bills?
Just a thought.
best,
dale
Welcome to the site.
I think it would tighten things up if you dropped the "What" at the beginning.
" if I become a Poet"
This makes the line iambic trimeter (with a dangling foot) which is less awkward than to start with two unaccented syllables. Although you generally stick to three accents per line, there are times when this is not the case and that causes the line to hiccup. If it were all regularized it would read (the 1st stanza):
If I become a Poet
and ply some wordy skills
that there could be a worry
it might not pay the bills?
Just a thought.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.