02-15-2020, 02:11 AM
This is surprisingly good. If only you could remain in silence forever afterwards. I have a demon, I call it Fat Fuck. And since demons by nature come in plural, see DEMOcracy, and tend to legion, I have another name for It that I won't say because of political correctness. Your poem is unintentionally subtle and nuanced, which has points. The demons in skin is a favorable plus. They're in the skin, POSSIBLY in the nerves. I like that bit of your poem.
You told yourself. Haha. OK.
Good. I'd say just realize the clichés and own those parts of ye. And work from there. Context is five percent the law.
If you know all this . . . You're well on your way to poetry. don't, you do now.
If you
And silence is part of your poem. "Silence", you see. That actually is. The idea of silence in the face of DEMONS is a strong starting point for this theme. I'm not just being silly.
The Way is how you work on your rhymes. That's the TAO of it.
The rhymes work in this context. But if you don't make a blatant and awkwardly clever style out of it, it won't
"And I would wish that I could die"
See how I mean?
Which silence always wins.
You told yourself. Haha. OK.
Good. I'd say just realize the clichés and own those parts of ye. And work from there. Context is five percent the law.
If you know all this . . . You're well on your way to poetry. don't, you do now.
If you
And silence is part of your poem. "Silence", you see. That actually is. The idea of silence in the face of DEMONS is a strong starting point for this theme. I'm not just being silly.
The Way is how you work on your rhymes. That's the TAO of it.
The rhymes work in this context. But if you don't make a blatant and awkwardly clever style out of it, it won't
"And I would wish that I could die"
See how I mean?
Which silence always wins.