Old Flame - edit 1 (Formerly Faint Hope)

[bbcashdollar]

I like this a lot! Just a couple of thoughts. 
- I think it reads better if “you got” (last line of the first stanza) if moved up to the end of the previous line
- The first line of the second stanza still trips me up a little
- Would consider telling it in the first person. I think it makes it more emotive.

Again great job.

A sliver remains,
the final slice of pie
at the back of your fridge
beside a jar of pickles
you got the week you moved in.

The crust may be soggy and the taste dulled,
but it's nice to know something's there
if you feel like something sweet.

Original Version. Originally titled "Faint Hope":

A sliver remains,
the final slice of pie 
at the back of your fridge
beside a jar of pickles
you got the week you moved in. 

The crust's soggy and the taste dulled,
but it's nice to know something's there
if you feel like something sweet.