01-16-2020, 04:00 AM
The lines about the screen and the keyboard work the best. Feeling under your fingers, in love with a screen. Fitting more of that stuff in there, keeping the technological mixed with physical might tighten it up. The parts about not wanting to be unfaithful to someone could stick to the technological images, I mean. As the screen as the tying together of the poem. Maybe as a means of comparison of sensations and realitites.
The song allusions, if that's what they are, near the end work too. Since the computer and phone or whatever plays music to go with the emotions.
The song allusions, if that's what they are, near the end work too. Since the computer and phone or whatever plays music to go with the emotions.