01-05-2020, 12:02 PM
I really liked this piece. I think you did a very good job balancing the emotional attention that this topic deserves with the respect and solemness that it also deserves. It wasn’t melodramatic, and the imagery used was creative and impactful. It has a message and a deeper meaning that the majority of other poems seem to lack, in my opinion. I disagree with the other criticisms regarding the word “is” in the second line. It seems to make sense to me the way I read it. I do think the last line should go, and I wonder if saying “the next generation” rather than “generation next” would be better. But otherwise I think it’s great.