First submission here

[bbcashdollar]

There’s a lot to like here. I like some of the moments and images. I’m having a hard time finding the rhythm. Some comments and suggestions below are to reduce wordiness and to improve clarity (of course only if I’m understanding it)

I
I love your body the way I love wheat fields through the seasons, - Seems to evoke serenity, peacefulness more than passion
The landscape of my commute -Great line. Landscape of course is vista, but it implies vision and planning. Commute connotes ongoing and regular
Bringing both delight and glad wonder that there should still be delight.
Still delighted. Surprised delight persists -Just a suggestion. The line throws me when I try to read it.
When hourglass angles the repeating unique angles of the sun, through hours, through months, matter
To let me Lest I not forget how much there is to love. -I suggested “lest,” but I’m not a fan of the word lest

Smooth and rough growths play their different games together in the same light,
Being the ebb and flow of each other, 
companions in refraction, companions in shadow -I don’t know why I suggested it, maybe just getting carried away
My eyes cannot hold it all.

Is the Are my overflowing of my senses creating the current,
The draw pull that will not let me go? -Draw seemed to be the wrong word
The impossibility of perfect knowledge the vacuum that sucks me in?


II
The hidden daily lives and deaths in air, in grass, in soil,
The streams that pulse without and will not pause,
   (So I must think of when I’m not thinking of them)
What can they teach me of the struggles of the cells of your body and soul?
Is this then faith?


III
I know that the love of sere grass, of smoothing snow, of emerald waves
Each exists of themselves independent of me.
I know too that they help create each to each other,
The now/old love pouring into the next/now love.
The earth goes round and round,
And you and I have a destination,
And what does this change?
Changes that do not repeat are felt more the miraculous.