Lovers Quarrel

[billy]

a couple of things.
if you use odd number of lines try and make so the last one doesn't rhyme or maybe use a triple rhyme at the end of each verse.

if you use rhyme, make sure if possible it's within a rhyme pattern.
you use a lot of cliche. sometimes cliche works but in general make your writing as original as possible. [use phrases or sentences that no one else has used. most of the lines are cliche, something we've already read eleshwere.

my love for you will never end has been used by millions of people already [to show just one cliche] write in a way no one has seen before.

i would live an internity to embrace you for a loving second this too verges on cliche but it has an image and it's just an example how to steer clear of cliche. don't worry, most of us start off writing poetry with cliche and forced rhymes. you'll improve with each piece. thanks for posting.

A whisper in the wind,
A light in the the night,
Every time you smile my world gets so bright,
As endless as the ocean,
As potent as a potion,
Your love drives my every single motion,
Until time has ceased,
Or my soul is leased,
My love for you will never end.

I often wonder if you think about me,
I think of you as I lay in bed,
Every time I’m around you I overthink on what I said,
Did you understand that I was kidding, and what I said was just a joke,
Do you know that I think you’re amazing and not like normal folk,
You’re so confident and outgoing, bright and so bubbly,
Do you enjoy my company even though I’m a bit stubbly,
You give me hope, we do our dance, the game seems to be in play,
But you cause me to think too much when you’re cold to me the next day,
What did I do, what is the problem, how do I fix what we were,
I just want what we had that causes my heart to stir,
I wonder if you think about me ever or at all,
Truth be told I wrote this poem because I know I stall.