Cool (edit 4)

[bbcashdollar]

this is one of thsoe i want to change yet think it doesn't really need change. [apart from the first two lines.] the piece does capture the thrill of the moment. i do wonder if the driver would be thinking anything geometry while hurtling through the snow.

Cool

light clinging to snowflakes
snow clinging to everything not a powerful start, would transposing it with the second stanza add anything?

we had the road to ourselves
swerving across medians
spinning through intersections

a high school thrill ride
me, Marty, Red
the exuberant terror
young men crave
our battle
our turf

4 tires skating
under street lights
3 boys hurtling
towards snow banks no need for the numbers, they'd be a given unless the three lads are in an eighteen wheeler.

this is no cautionary tale not sure this line adds anything
"You're so cool!,"
Marty squealed

as unconsciously
I palmed the wheel
oblivious to everything
but the geometry
of steel towards snow

Thanks for the suggestions. I thought about the “cautionary tale” line before, I think you’re right. You’re also right about geometry, it should be physics. Our initiation to driving in upstate NY usually culminates in being taken into a very big, very empty parking lot after a big snow, being asked floor it while our teacher/parent/more experienced friend grabbed wheel in a hard turn to get us to spin uncontrollably to get the feeling of losing control in the snow, to get the feel of a snow. As for the opening, I wanted to set the scene of snow storm. It’s funny how snow almost seems like a light source. Whatever light there is at night is amplified.