Slow Magic - edit2

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Slow Magic


Monsoons return:
stream cuts stone,
sand chokes river mouth.
Dams silt up;
     fail, undercut.
Charred forest sprouts,
cicadas rise each seven years.

True magic's slow,
not sleight of hand–
its mystery
    deep history.

edit1;

Monsoons return:
stream cuts stone,
sand chokes river mouth.
Dams silt up;
     fail, undercut.
Charred forest sprouts,
cicadas rise each seven years.
True magic's slow,
not sleight of hand, no mystery
but weight of history.

original version;

Stream cuts stone,
sand chokes river mouth,
cicadas rise each seven years.
Dams silt up;
     fail, undercut.
Charred forest sprouts,
monsoons return.
True magic's slow,
not sleight of hand but weight
of memory.

I like this a lot. The imagery is solid. I like the weaker, smaller, more fluid elements shaping harder more substantial ones. I actually think monsoons need to follow regenerating forests. It strikes me that the monsoons need to follow the burn/dry season, more ongoing cycle than the passage of time. I agree with you, the ending needs work.