11-11-2019, 05:33 AM
A good attempt. I would eschew cliches like 'looming mountain peak' and 'silken wings'.
I'd also question the reference to the sands of Egypt - unlike the swallow in the Happy Prince, larks don't migrate that far south, so the allusion doesn't work (if that's the intention. Otherwise, the Egypt reference is pointless).
I am also not sure if alpine vegetation at these altitudes can be classified as 'brambly'. It's mostly meadow land.
I'd also question the reference to the sands of Egypt - unlike the swallow in the Happy Prince, larks don't migrate that far south, so the allusion doesn't work (if that's the intention. Otherwise, the Egypt reference is pointless).
I am also not sure if alpine vegetation at these altitudes can be classified as 'brambly'. It's mostly meadow land.