10-25-2019, 06:18 PM
I like it: thought provoking and it flows well. I think your punctuation and rhythm are spot on.
The only thing I am not sure about, if I am to be extremely picky, is the word 'infinitely' to describe advanced. I can understand you're trying to show the size of the gap in advancement between the two worlds, but 'infinitely' feels like this comparison is not even possible. I don't want to suggest words to replace it as this should come from you.
The line about forcing cars to sleep outside feels really good.
The only thing I am not sure about, if I am to be extremely picky, is the word 'infinitely' to describe advanced. I can understand you're trying to show the size of the gap in advancement between the two worlds, but 'infinitely' feels like this comparison is not even possible. I don't want to suggest words to replace it as this should come from you.
The line about forcing cars to sleep outside feels really good.