Moon

[rowens]

This is a degree up from your first poem here. It makes a nice progression. Like Innocence and Experience, you're building on something. I see everything happening at once, so are you making these poems one by one or intentionally giving installments?, either way, and both ways, the silly rhyming works so far, so long as you continue to carry your theme. Whether through other better poems or by making this one richer and stronger. As it is, though, I don't see anything wrong with it, other than, like your other one, it isn't so strong as a stand by itself poem.