05-12-2010, 10:22 AM
I don't believe your title fits really with the poem. However, I enjoyed the concept of your poem. The first stanza , I liked the imagery. "It's leaving the city, rising to the heaven." Furthermore, The repetition was quiet annoying and I believe it wasn't really necessary. But, maybe it served as a purpose. The ending is what really caught my attention though. Even though, I personally think you should of had Mommy, & Mom repeated twice.