09-09-2019, 09:17 PM
Hi,
I like the astrological theme of the poem. There are some strong images described, namely the shooting star and the icy planet in transit, but i felt like you could have chosen the theme of one and expanded it or explained its journey in more detail, drawing it out more. There was a loose begging middle and end. I think you could have used comparison more. However i thought you used good imagery throughout and that was satisfying. The second and the last stanza were my favorite because there was a clear image and meaning behind it that I could speculate on and attribute different meanings to. The first and third felt like imagery without enough meaning behind them.
Thank you
I like the astrological theme of the poem. There are some strong images described, namely the shooting star and the icy planet in transit, but i felt like you could have chosen the theme of one and expanded it or explained its journey in more detail, drawing it out more. There was a loose begging middle and end. I think you could have used comparison more. However i thought you used good imagery throughout and that was satisfying. The second and the last stanza were my favorite because there was a clear image and meaning behind it that I could speculate on and attribute different meanings to. The first and third felt like imagery without enough meaning behind them.
Thank you